Two dads, too many squishies

Two dads. Two daughters. A house slowly filling with soft things that squeak when you squeeze them.

At some point you stop asking why and start asking what you are supposed to do about it. That was us.

The easy ones

Nee-Doh balls and gel fidgets felt manageable. Dumpling squishies seemed harmless. Labubus looked like the annoying one, the expensive one, the one you would have to negotiate over.

Yeah. We were wrong about that.

Playground economics

School dramas followed. Squishy wars. Swap deals negotiated with the confidence of a junior barrister and the maths of a Year 3 tuck shop.

One afternoon we watched a £12 shop squishy lose out to a sticky stall dumpling that cost three quid. The stall version won. Our daughter was delighted. We were not.

Gold dust

Then came the hunt. Where do you even get the right one? Crazes change like the wind. Smyths shelves empty. TikTok full of copies that look identical until they arrive in a jiffy bag smelling faintly of a petrol station forecourt.

The practical bit

A favourite splits open within a day. Gel everywhere. That sharp smell. Takes you back to jelly aliens from the 90s, except your kid is holding this one and asking if it is still okay.

We are not chemists. We read GOV.UK product safety alerts and stick to copy tells any parent can spot.

Honest lowdown

SquishID is a parent helper, not a lab, not OPSS, and not medical advice. A photo cannot detect benzene, phthalates, or VOCs. Smell is a risk flag, not a test result.

Why SquishID exists

We built SquishID for parents and carers: find Certified Softies on Hot Spots, check listings for copy tells, browse the Rogue Gallery for recalls, and drop pings for Trading Standards — not mystery marketplace sellers.

It is the app we wished we had when the stall dumpling won the playground swap.